Wednesday 21 January 2015

Stories from the Cedar Cafè, Jessica 6


It was Jessica's last day at The Cedar Cafè.

This weekend she would be packing and on Monday off to Mauritius with her boyfriend Filippo.

She set out the tray of freshly baked almond pastries and made sure all the coffee machines were sparkling and the filters clean. Friday morning was always busy.
The women who had their hair done for the weekend at the New Wave and the shoppers. Two business men came in and set up their laptops in the Free WiFi area and two elderly women sat at the window tables looking out at the activity on the street. The Wifi had been Filippo's idea, it was a huge success.
A very handsome man came in and sat at the table in the corner, took out some writing paper and started scribbling away with a dreamy look on his face. He had asked for espresso, rolling his rs like Filippo, the Italian way.

Jessica had met Filippo at a night club in London. She had gone to stay with a school friend, Joely, who was a ballerina in 'The Rocky Horror Show' and they had gone to the night club with the cast after the show.
Filippo was working at the bar, mixing cocktails and put on a great display just for her, looking at her all the time. Joely had nudged her :

'He looks like Tom Cruise. I  think he fancies you Jess, look at the way he's looking at you, he's smitten.'

Jessica had laughed, but then Filippo had put a large reddish drink in front of her with a flourish.

'This is for you, on the house, it's my special Spritz.'

He had looked at her with such eagerness and with such a disarming manner she had thanked him and taken a sip of the drink.

'Oh it's delicious thank you,' she'd laughed and then they had started  asking each other questions, a month of questions in half an hour, afraid that the night would end and they would lose each other.

A month later, Filippo had come to Westonbury to meet her parents and she had taken him to The Cedar Cafè to show him where she worked.
Jessica had left school with one A level and had no wish to carry on studying.  She had worked in the Cedar Cafè at weekends for three years and Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan asked her if she would like to work full time. their only son Geoffrey worked in Bristol in an Insurance office and didn't seem interested in the cafè and they were getting old.

Filippo was enthusiastic about the cafè. His parents had a Pasticceria in the Veneto, in Northern Italy. His father had  gone to Moscow for six months to teach a small team how to make his pastries and  chocolates. Filippo said how the people of the Veneto were well-known for their work ethic, their high professional standards and good taste.

He'd winked at Jessica then, 'You can see I have good taste ...'

She'd felt a flutter in her stomach as he looked at her.

'You're not so bad yourself, Filippo,' she'd said quietly.

Filippo had studied Fine Arts and wanted to be an artist. He had already had a few exhibitions and sold quite a few of his paintings but worked in the Night Club to improve his English and have the days free to paint.

Jessica's parents and Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan were charmed by Filippo, his enthusiasm and his good looks, but most of all his obvious devotion to Jessica. He came to Westonbury every weekend.

He showed them how to make proper Italian coffee and suggested some good retailers. He told them that they should consider trends, make room for WIFI users, and have coffee tasting sessions to make people aware of the different quality and flavour of the coffee. He suggested exhibiting the work of local artists, poetry reading evenings and live music on Saturday evenings. Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan were delighted with the improvements to their cafè.  Geoffrey and his girlfriend, Paulina from Warsaw came home one weekend and were  pleasantly surprised at all the changes. Geoffrey took Jessica aside.

'You put me to shame Jessica. I should have helped my parents enter the twenty first century. Paulina says she'd like to come and work here. What do you think? I don't want to tread on  your toes.'

Jessica was quick to reassure him.

'It's what I like doing Geoffrey. I love being with people and I think that with all the modern ways to communicate we are in danger of alienating ourselves. A coffee bar can be a way of keeping people together.  I think it's great if Paulina wants to work here, It actually makes my decision easier.'

The week before, Filippo had told Jessica and her parents that he had been offered a job in Mauritius. He was to set up a coffee bar in a new hotel. There were government incentives. It would be for a year.'

Jessica's parents had looked at her.

'Whatever our Jessie wants we will support her.'

She had hugged them both and said that she'd think about it for a week.
She took out her phone and looked a the text that had just come in.

'I love you with all my heart. You are beautiful. Thank you for believing in me.'
Her heart flipped. A hot feeling crept over her.

Jessica served some hot cappuccinos the way that Filippo had shown her, making the froth rich and creamy and sprinkling cocoa over a heart-shaped stencil. The schoolgirls on the sofa were enchanted.

'Oh look a heart, it's a sign, he must like me.'

Jessica thought how she needed a sign too. She loved Filippo and the last year together had been the most romantic, exciting year of her life. She had agreed to go to Mauritius because she knew that if she didn't go she would spend the rest of her life thinking of what might have been. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

The door of the Cedar Cafè opened and one of her regulars stood in the doorway. A very attractive older woman who was best friends with her neighbour Maura. Someone was standing behind her, a lovely dark haired girl with a bright friendly face.

The handsome man who had been busy writing and drinking espressos looked at them and then wrote something on the paper. As he held it up, Jessica gasped. He had written, "Will you marry me?". This surely must be a sign. Jessica's heart sang, she felt like celebrating the new young couple, she called out to all the customers: to celebrate she would offer them all free coffee.

Her phone beeped for a text, she looked quickly at it.

'I wanted to wait till we got to Mauritius but I am too impatient. Please Jessica will you marry me?'

Monday 19 January 2015

Stories from The Cedar Cafè, Rob 5


The moment Rob entered the Cedar Cafè the strong aroma of the Italian coffee filled him with a sense of longing. He was back, wrapping long, soft dark hair round his fingers, tracing sand on skin warmed by the sun, breathing in the heady scents of pine and Jasmine, brushing away crumbs of sweet brioches from salty lips. The thought of Silvia made him feel quite dizzy. His head span slightly and he quickly ordered a double espresso and an almond pastry.

It was his mother's idea for him to come here. She'd been with her old school friend Maura  and said it was just the place for him to decide what to do. It was also his mother's idea for him to write a letter. A proper letter with pen and paper. She said that looking at a man's handwriting gave a woman more insight than texts and emails.
So much for rebellious teenagers. Here he was, nearly thirty-five doing what his mum said. He smiled at the thought.

He took out his paper and pen and started to write.  The Italian words flowed easily and swiftly from his heart to the paper. These were the words that he and Silvia had used to express their love and passion.  He quickly wrote a whole page declaring his love for her, for  Silvia, for his true love. Rob stopped and gulped down his espresso, the hot liquid burning his throat. He re-read the letter. He imagined his father would have said it sounded gushing and rather desperate.

The door of the cafè opened and three schoolgirls came in and rushed towards the sofa, delighted to find it free.  They wore the uniform of the school he had attended. It was a boys only school in his day. Rob thought of how carefree life had been for him then, how easy and how settled. He had grown up in the small West country town and imagined he would always live here. He had gone to the nearby university in Bristol to get a degree in English and be near his girlfriend Melissa. He had it all mapped out. Degree in English, journalism course, working on the local paper, marrying Melissa, holidays in Cornwall and Scotland.  Everything had gone according to plan until the paper had sent him up to London to do a course. He'd only been gone a week when Melissa decided that Rob's best friend  Jeremy was the man of her dreams and it seemed the feeling was mutual.

 Looking back the hardest part had been watching his mother's eyes fill with tears and pain as her heart ached for her son.  She was recently widowed, Rob's father had been fifteen years her senior and they'd had Rob late in life.  They'd had such a happy marriage and were so fond of Melissa, they'd just thought their son would have the same happy life in their little town.

Rob finished his almond pastry and went to order another coffee. Silvia would be telling him one was enough, that he would have trouble sleeping and get nervous.
Again it was his mother's idea for him to do the TEFL course.  From a casual conversation at the Garden centre she had heard of a young woman who did a TEFL course and then went to teach English in Thailand.   She 'd discovered  she liked teaching so much that  she was now a Primary school teacher in Bath.

In a daze, still reeling from the shock of seeing Melissa and Jeremy get married and have a baby in what seemed like no time at all, Rob took the TEFL course and was offered a job in Bologna in Italy.  He'd never been to Italy but his mother said it was perfect, he'd be able to come home for Christmas, and she could come out with Maura for a weekend.

The paper had agreed to keep his job open for a year and had suggested that he had a column, a postcard from Italy, recounting his experiences and impressions of life in Italy, comparing it to life in the Cotswolds, aiming at something affectionate and humourous.

Most of that had gone according to plan.  Bologna was a fascinating place. Rob loved going to the university to hold conversation classes with the professors and the Language students. He learned all about the history of the university and signed on with the Tourist office to conduct tours.  Bologna university was older than Oxford and Cambridge. It was considered to be the mother of all universities. Free teaching began there in 1088. Dante, Petrarca, Thomas Becket were among its famous students. It was going through an upheaval to meet European requirements, reducing its departments from over sixty to around thirty. It was all quite different from Bristol. The students could take their time getting their degrees and most of them had to have a five year degree to hope to find a job.

Rob loved the centre of Bologna, the piazzas, the pavement cafès,  the library, the museums and the galleries, the outdoor concerts and the festivals. He loved the view from S.Luca, a large  Church on a hill above the town. There were porticos leading up there from the town and even on a wet day it was a pleasant walk. The view stretched right across the Apennines  to the South and across the plains of the Po valley to the north. Most of all Rob loved the people, they were friendly, warm and all had a ready wit and repartee that lifted his spirits and made him want to smile again. His students were always inviting him out for pizzas, or to their homes to chat round the table with their families eating huge bowls of pasta or piadine. Rob was surprised at how quickly he picked up Italian, everyone wanted to teach him. They laughed at his accent and said they were getting their Revenge.
The other teachers at his school were from all over the place, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Ireland, and they formed a close-knit friendly group going out in the evenings and sharing meals. One of his students organized a trip to admire the peach and apricot blossom, a sea of purple and pink covering the countryside with a veil of spectacular brilliance.

Rob's editor was pleased with the column that he was writing from Bologna. He wrote about  La Torre degli Asinelli, built by Gerardo Asinelli between 1109 - 1119. How it is the tallest of Bologna's remaining eighty Towers and had the most breathtaking view from the top how it was considered bad luck for students to climb the five hundred steps to the top before they got their degrees. He wrote about the spas, comparing them to the ones in Bath, he wrote about the beautiful library and the exhibitions that took place their, he wrote about the newspapers playing tricks on April Fool's day, putting up notices to say that a  well-known politician was holding a party for all the students. Rob wrote about the habit of stopping for an aperitvo on the way home from work and being served a banquet of local delicacies, he went to a famous restaurant called  Il Pappagallo,The Parrot, with photos of famous people on the walls and described the delicious food he ate, the essence of Bologna's rich and wonderful culinary heritage. His mother and Maura came to stay and he wrote a piece about the faux-pas that English people make . Spaghetti Bolgnese doesn't exist, they call it Spaghetti al Ragù. He told about the looks of horror if you ordered a cappuccino in a restaurant. Only espresso was considered a suitable end to a meal.  Rob learned that Tortellini are modelled on Venus's tummy button and Pizza Margherita after a queen with a rosy complexion. Eating was such a sensual experience. He felt invigorated and renewed and his heart began to heal.

Yes everything was going to plan until the last month of his stay in Bologna. The school secretary, Linda asked him if he could do an intense course of individual lessons for a young woman who was setting up a business to do with organic food and sustainable lifestyles. She had a stand booked for the Bologna exhibition centre , the Fiera,in September and wanted to improve her accent and business English. Rob agreed, he was happy to have an excuse to stay a bit longer and a lot of his students had gone away for the Summer.

The moment Rob walked into the classroom and saw Silvia sitting there, her long legs crossed over and her silver sandals dangling as she swayed her ankle, her glossy hair tumbling over her shoulders, a look of concentration on her lovely features he thought he had never seen such a beautiful woman. It was while he was trying to make her pronounce the word  ' available ' that he told her to look closely at his mouth and repeat it. Silvia watched as he slowly pronounced the word and then collapsed in giggles. She then grabbed him round the neck and pressed her lips on his. She broke away and opened her arms wide.

'I am available.' she winked at him.

Rob felt like his heart would explode. This was passion, this was love, he just knew. What he had felt for Melissa was comfortable and gentle but this was a tremendous wave sweeping him across, he was flowing with the currents, flying with the wind, his breath came in gasps,his heart filled with love.

They looked up as Linda tapped on the glass petition and made motions of being shocked by such behaviour in a classroom but then she started laughing and came in to hug them both.

Silvia took over his life like a fire warming the hearth. Every weekend she took him somewhere new, to Ravenna to see the mosaics, to San Marino where they brought souvenirs and had piadine sitting on top of a rock admiring the spectacular view. She took hin to the places she loved in the Bolognese hills and then to the sea to meet her family. Rob knew then that this was the point of no return and he gave into all the sensations with a gladness and a joy that he never would have imagined.

Silvia's family rented two beach umbrellas for three months every Summer near Cesenatico. Their whole extended family would decamp onto the beach. Uncles and aunts, cousins and in-laws all had their own beach umbrella and set of sun loungers. Silvia explained that they had the same umbrella in the same place every year and would come and congregate there at every opportunity.
It was a community on the beach. Silvia's family welcomed Rob into their warm embrace, they wanted his mother to join them and Maura. They wanted to practise their English.  They wanted to know everything about him.  They listened to what he had to say and asked him questions then  showed great interest in his answers.


Rob was completely overwhelmed. His editor called him and told him there was an interesting proposition for him and could he come to his office in Bath. He said that there was a passion in Rob's writing that hadn't gone unnoticed. Rob told Silvia that he had to go home, but he'd be back to help her with the Exhibition in September.
 Leaving her at the airport he felt like his heart was being ripped out but he knew he needed to go home and clear his head about what to do.

Rob's mother made him his childhood favourite of toad in the hole and Teacle tart.
She poured them both some wine.

'The world's changed so much Rob. Maura talks to her son in Australia every Sunday on skype for over an hour, she says it's like going out for coffee with him. Harriet next door has got a daughter in Scotland, she only sees her at Christmas they talk on Facetime every day. I was with her at the supermarket and Patricia rang from Scotland and there we were looking at her and talking about the price of the food. It's incredible.
 Westonbury will always be a part of you, it's in you and nothing can take it away, but there are new ways to live now. When you're fond of someone you can Always find a way to keep in touch and feel close. If you want to make a life with Silvia, don't worry about me. Anyway I really enjoy being with Silvia's family. I'd like to invite them here.'

Rob looked at his mother with intense gratitude. He knew what it must have cost her to say that. His editor had offered him a column and told him about a cycling magazine based in Bath that was looking for an Italian connection and was he interested. It would mean spending a lot of time in Italy. Italians loved cycling.

That's when his mother suggested writing the letter. Even if he didn't send it, he would be able to sort out his thoughts.

Rob looked at the letter he had written. He couldn't wait to see Silvia. He knew now that wherever she was would be his home.  He knew what it was to meet with irresistible passion, to be swept away and feel you have found the part of you that was missing and to know that you would always be incomplete without them.

The door to the Cedar cafè opened and he looked up. His mother was standing in the doorway and behind her he could see a sweep of glossy curly hair, dancing sparkling eyes and a mischievous grin.  Rob turned the writing paper over and quickly wrote three words. He held it up for Silvia to see.

 Will you marry me?

He was thrown of balance by Silvia bounding over to him and jumping him on him like a puppy, and burying her head in his jacket. She picked up the pen and wrote in huge letters.

YES.

His mother shyly followed and he could see the tears of joy in her eyes. the young girl at the counter called out.

'Looks like there's a celebration. Free coffees all round.'

Then there was applause and cheering, most unusual for the quiet country town.












Friday 16 January 2015

Stories from The Cedar Cafè, Lisa 4



Every  Friday Lisa went with her friends Fiona and Kate to The Cedar Cafè. Now they were in the Sixth form they were allowed to go out of school during their free periods and The Cedar cafè was just a short walk from school.  They always tried to get the sofa and put their cappuccinos and muffins on the table in front of them making them last for the whole hour. Lisa loved the feeling of being squashed together  on the sofa looking at their phones and  making idle remarks.  The sofa felt like a magic kingdom to Lisa. While she was sitting there with her friends nothing bad could happen to her, she was safe.  Her friends made her feel a better person. They never said unkind things about the other girls and were all interested in so many things, books, art, films, voluntary work.

Every morning  Lisa left her house feeling dirty, tainted, inferior. Her father's cruel taunts ringing in her ears, her mother's silence confirming the low opinion Lisa had formed of herself.  It was only when she got on the bus that she became just another schoolgirl, one of the crowd,  united in their aim to get to school and follow their lessons.  By the time she was sitting at her desk she could pretend that she was like all the other girls. They all arrived in the classroom, brimming with news of boys and homework, dancing classes and Youth clubs.

Lisa turned as the door to the cafè opened bringing a blast of cold air.  It was Mrs. Browning who worked at the day centre in the Retirement home. She was with a younger woman and they had a bag from the new dress shop. Lisa's mother had bought a dress there last week and Lisa recognized the bag. It had been a rare moment of female complicity as Lisa had admired the dress and asked if she could keep the bag for her make up and nail polish. Lisa worked at the hairdressers on Saturday mornings and Marie, the French girl who worked there had taught her how to do manicures and now Lisa did voluntary work at the day centre. The old ladies there relied on her to make sure their hair and nails were in order. While she was at the hairdressers and doing the manicures Lisa felt as though her life was normal, she belonged somewhere.

Kate nudged her and asked her to look at a photo of a boy she liked on Facebook. She was worried that the boy was standing too close to another girl. Lisa reassured her that the photo didn't look compromising at all. Kate relaxed and went back to scanning her photos.

Lisa looked across at Mrs. Browning and thought about the conversation she had overheard at the day centre last week.
 Mrs. Painter had chosen a purple sparkly nail polish and Lisa was getting things ready for her manicure.
 She knew that Mrs. Browning was recording the old people's memories. Some of the stories were like a historical documentary.
 Something in Mrs. Painter's tone made Lisa go cold. She saw Mrs. Browning stiffen and tears fall on her cheeks and then sit down heavily with a sigh. Lisa had got up and gone to fetch some tissues. It was such an intimate moment. In her heart Lisa knew what they were talking about, difficult childhoods with difficult parents and alcohol. Anyone who had experienced it knew, it was there all the time, the fear and the dread. Lisa knew what it was like to hear a man come in the door different from the one that had gone out a few hours before, changed by the acohol. She knew what it was like to see a woman cower and feel it was her fault and retreat into a shell.
Mrs. Painter, Mrs.Browning and Lisa, they all knew, and now Mrs. Painter was having the courage to talk about it.

Fiona was talking abot her party. Kate told her to be careful with the invitations.
Lisa picked up her cappuccino and held it in her hands, the warmth giving her strength.

'Be careful with the alcohol at your party. My mum told me that once she went to a party and someone spiked the drinks with vodka. One of the girls was really ill and they had to call an ambulance.'

Fiona stopped looking at her phone and turned to Lisa.

'Maybe I could ask my brother and his friends to stay near the door, make sure only people who have been invited come in.'

Lisa picked up the bill.
'My treat today, I've  had a few tips from the old people.'

While she was queueing she glanced at Mrs. Browning. The younger woman was holding her hand and smiling at her so warmly, it gave Lisa comfort just to watch. Maybe she could bring her mother here for coffee, maybe they could talk together like that, away from the heavy atmosphere at home, perhaps they could be two women, mother and daughter, enjoying being together.

Fiona and Kate came to join her in the queue.

'Did you see those two snogging' they looked like my mum and dad, can't imagine them doing that. Keep you tips Lisa, buy a new dress for the party. I think that Oscar fancies you.'

They all collapsed in giggles. Three young girls  laughing, enjoying being together.









Stories from the Cedar cafè, Jilly 3


The pretty assistant carefully wrapped up the velvet and lace dress  in tissue paper and then put it in the shop's trademark pink and black bag. She tied on a pink ribbon and handed it to Jilly with a flourish.

'There you are. It's a lovely dress. Are you going anywhere special?'

Jilly handed the bag to her sister Penny and hunted around in her bag for her card.

'It's my husband's birthday next week and I'm hoping we'll be going out. Are you sure it wasn't too small?'

'You can always change it if you're not happy with it.' the assistant was already turning to the next customer.

'It looked lovely Jilly, it really did. the colour brought out your eyes.' Penny, five years younger had always been Jilly's  biggest fan.
 Jilly smiled at her gratefully.

'Come on Penny, let me treat you to coffee at the place over the road. It looks new and it says they serve proper Italian coffee.'

Jilly ordered two almond pastries and two lattes. She put the bag with the dress on a chair. It was too special to go on the floor.
The cafe was full and the rich warm aroma of the coffee and the sounds of laughter from the schoolgirls, helped Jilly  feel normal. She looked across at the schoolgirls on the sofa and tried to remember what it had felt like to be young and carefree. Life had seemed so exciting then. She had always been popular and attractive and life had seemed a great adventure.

Jilly had worked as a model and then got a job as an air-hostess and that's where she had met the man of her dreams, Captain Phil Browning. He was the most handsome of the pilots and on an overnight stop in Frankfurt he had asked her to marry him. It was in the days before mobile phones and she had been bursting to tell everyone.when she got back to Manchester. She couldn't believe her luck. Penny had been her bridesmaid and it had been a fairytale wedding.
Jilly had stopped working as a hostess when Michelle and Rachel were born. It didn't seem right for them to have two parents away from home. Jilly had got a job at the local old people's home in the day centre.  She felt like she had everything, a handsome husband, two lovely daughters, active parents and parents-in-law and a lovely sister.

Then overnight her life changed. She hadn't foreseen it at all. Looking back she should have read the signs. Phil was away from home for increasingly long periods. He would ring at the last minute to say he was staying away. He would crawl into bed in the middle of the night and if she thought she could detect alcohol on his breath she dismissed it. He was a pilot, she knew his world, no drinking was allowed.

It was her mother that made it impossible for her to live in denial any longer.

'I saw Phil in the 'Queen's Head' when I was with my Book club. I thought he was in Amsterdam. He's a handsome man Jilly, but you are also lovely, he's lucky to have you.'

That night Jilly had made a special supper, his favourite Steak and kidney. She opened a bottle of wine and watched in horror as he downed three glasses.

'How was Amsterdam Phil, did you remember to buy the Dutch dolls for Michelle's collection?'

Phil had turned on her, his face a mask of fury.

'Stop pretending. You know I wasn't in Amsterdam. Your interfering mother must have told you. Stupid dolls, of course I didn't get them.'

Jilly took a deep breath and tried to hide her shock.

'Whatever is wrong Phil, we can deal it with together. Is there someone else?'

She waited for his reply with a feeling of dread in her heart that settled itself like an unwelcome guest.

'Oh for goodness sake Jilly, are you blind? I got caught for speeding and they did a breathalyser and it was positive. You know the rules, that was the end of my career. No more flying for me. My life's over.'

The anger and the spiteful tone were like a slap in the face. At that moment all Jilly could think of was protecting her daughters from what their father had become. From that moment on her life became a walk on egg shells to keep a balance and limit the damage done to her family.

It was Penny's husband John who managed to persuade Phil to attend the AA meetings. He had a friend that went there and was now in the clear and helping Others to overcome their addiction.  The AA meetings and with the doctor's help  some sort of normality returned to their lives. Penny's husband John was a Guitar teacher and he  often went with Phil to the AA meetings  and organized concerts. Phil seemed determined to beat his addiction and got a job at the local airfield working in the office. In her heart though Jilly knew she could never let her guard down again.

'John says that Michelle and Rachel are very gifted musicians. He thinks that Rachel might like the saxophone.' Penny ate the last piece of almond pastry. She took out her smartphone.

'Look at this video I took when they came round last week. It's brilliant.'

Jilly listened to her daughters playing a duet of 'Let it Be' and pinched her nose to stop the tears.

'It's lovely. thanks Penny. Do you think it's true though?  We should just let things be? Or should we try and sort things out.?'

'I suppose it means that we should never act in haste but think things through properly first.'

'You always were the wise one of the two of us Penny, my little sister.' Jilly gently ruffled her sister's curls.

'Who wants to be wise eh? You're the fun one.'

Jilly stood up to hide her emotions.

'Let's have another cup, it's the best coffee in town.'

When Jilly brought the coffee back she took out a notebook from her bag.

'I'm doing a really interesting project at the day centre.  You know I've got all these schoolgirls doing the ladies nails and helping the men with their crosswords? Well I was listening to the way they open up with the young ones and thought maybe I could record all their life stories. You  know, just ordinary life stories that will make them live on. It's amazing the detail that old people remember from their youth.  One old man told us all about him getting the cane, he looked so mischievous describing his naughty antics. A sweet old lady told us all about working in a laundry and another one about walking to work in bare feet to save her shoes from wearing out. I've been taking notes. Look at this account of Christmas day in the twenties, no heating, wet clothes, a pair of slippers the only present, but they said they were as happy as can be.'

Penny took the notebook and read some of Jilly' notes.

'That is so interesting Jilly. You are like a guardian of their memories, that's a brilliant idea.'

It was then that Jilly told her suspicions about Phil and his drinking having started again. She had found the bottles stuffed at the bottom of a wardrobe wrapped in old jumpers.

Penny had put her hand on Jilly's arm and squeezed. She didn't know what to say. How could this have happened to her lovely sister and her handsome husband? Her heart ached for them and their two daughters. She knew that John would want to help, at least to make sure that Phil attended the meetings.

Jilly went to pay for the coffees. For a moment here in The Cedar cafè she had felt like a normal woman having coffee with her sister and buying a new dress for her husband's birthday. Only she knew about the dark hand of fear wrapped round her heart.
 She took out her notebook. She hadn't told her sister about Mrs. Painter.  The old lady had looked straight at Jilly as she was recounting her childhood memories. It was as if she could see into Jilly's heart. She told her about her drunken father who would slam the front door and lurch up the stairs calling out in anger. She and her sister would cower under their bed. Sometimes they'd hear their mother shout in fright and sometimes their brothers yell in pain.  There was no AA in those days. Some of the memories were too personal and painful for Jilly to write down. It was as if Mrs.Painter knew that she was talking to someone who would understand and help her put her painful memories to rest.

Penny came up then with the dress shop bag.

'You looked gorgeous in that new dress Jilly.  Come to dinner at our house for Phil's birthday. We'd love that. Wear the dress and wow him. Michelle and Rachel could play him a tune or two. We'll have a good time. It's all about making happy memories'

Jilly put her arm round her sister.

'I don't know what I'd do without you Penny.'





























Monday 12 January 2015

Stories about Jack and Claire,

Jack and Claire and their children six year old Emma, the 3 year old twins, Max and Harry and the baby Sam appear in two of my stories so far. Stories from the Bar Marchè and New Beginnings, both as part of a series. In New beginnings they go Christmas shopping in a department store and there is also a story about  Gemma the assistant at the perfume counter. While at the perfume counter Jack bumps into a colleague from his London office, Matt with his girlfriend Flora. Here is a story about Flora and Matt. I hope you like it.

The  Sat-nav said that the drive to Westonbury would take two hours. Flora sat back in her seat and glanced at Matt's wrists leaning on the steering wheel.  His hands looked so strong and competent and she felt a flutter in her stomach.  She was looking forward to meeting Jack and Claire and their children.
 Just before Christmas they had bumped into Jack and his three little boys at the Perfume counter.  Matt had wanted to buy perfume for his mother and step- mother and three step-sisters. He had asked her to help him choose. It was a strange feeling to go shopping as a couple and Flora was surprised at how much she had enjoyed it.

She had met Matt at work last Spring. She was working as a secretary in a big London office of solicitors and Matt had singled her out in the first week, asking her to go for coffee or lunch in the little bistro round the corner from the office.

Matt turned the radio off and put his hand over hers.

'You've got a lovely tan Flora, against all this ice and frost you look like a Golden angel.'

Flora squeezed his hand. Something had shifted since their holiday in the Caribbean. There was a new intimacy between them.

Flora had always been insecure.  As far back as she could remember her parents had labelled her the ordinary one.  According to them her elder sister, Eleanor had inherited all the beauty and the brains, there was nothing left for Flora. She hadn't really minded, she was proud of Eleanor . As Flora grew up she blossomed and unexpectedly turned into a sensual, passionate Young womann.  It was too late for her to be good at school and work hard, she had got in with a crowd who were only interested in boys and was soon out of her depth.  With one low grade A level she enrolled  on a secretarial course and found  a  job at the Solicitors as a junior secretary.

Flora had learned to impress people by wearing provocative clothing and moving in a seductive manner and up until the Caribbean holiday she thought Matt just saw her as a piece of arm candy.
Matt had asked her to go to the Caribbean for Christmas with him. he said he was so tired and needed a break. His parents had divorced when he was eight and both had new families and he often felt in the way. Flora's parents were going to Eleanor. She and her husband Mark were busy converting and old farmhouse and expecting their first baby, they were happy for Flora to go with Matt.

It was while sitting on the beach, luxuriating in the feel of the soft white sand and watching the sun make patterns with the palms, that it happened. Matt leant across and kissed her with a new urgency.

'You're beautiful Flora, thank you for coming here with me. You take the loneliness from my heart.'

It seemed such an intimate confession and Flora felt her heart contract, her chest swell and fill with joy.

'Oh Matt, thank you for bringing me. I'm having a lovely time and haven't thought about roast turkey once.'

Matt laughed. 'What about brussel sprouts? You must miss those.'

'MMM yes maybe those.' She'd winked at him and he'd rolled her over in the sand.

On their last day they went to a local market and  Flora stopped by a stall selling handmade toys.
'What about buying some of these for your friend's children? the one we met at the Perfume counter. It would be nice to have gifts for them.'

Matt picked up a little doll.

'Oh you mean Jack and Claire. He's great, my favourite colleague. Everyone else seemed to be looking for a chance to stab you in the back or step over you, but not Jack.
It's funny, he could have had any woman, but Claire just appeared out of nowhere and bowled him over. She's interesting. She looks quite ordinary until you talk to her and then it's as though a light is shining from her and warming you.'

?Hey I' m feeling jealous, stop it.' Flora had laughed and Matt had taken her in his arms.

'Ah but you're my own personal sunshine Flora, just for me.'

They drove off the motorway and down some pretty country lanes. the sat nav said they were nearly there. Flora looked out of the window at the gently undulating countryside, the bare trees silhouetted against the Winter sky and the little villages coming to life as their lights went on. It made her feel as though she was going home. She shook herself. She'd always been a city girl.

As Matt parked the car in front of the house the front door flew open and the twins rushed out and ran around like two little puppies.

'Hello Matt, hello Flora, Mummy's made a big cake it looks like a log but it's made of chocolate and there's a snowman and a digger on the top, we put it there.'

Jack and Claire came to help them with their luggage and as they stepped into the warm, colourful hallway Matt squeezed Flora's hand.
Six year old Emma came shyly forward holding out a painting of some red roses and what looked like a bride and groom.

'This is for you, you can put it in your room.'

Flora felt a blush creep over her face and bent down to hide behind her hair.

'Oh it's beautiful Emma, Thank you so much.'

Claire showed them to their room and then went to prepare the tea.
When Flora and Matt came down they were welcomed into the sitting room with a fanfare from Max and Harry playing toy drums.

'da da da da. ' They sang.

Flora took out the presents and handed them round. Each gift was greeted with squeals of delight. Emma cuddled her doll and put her hand in Flora's and gave her a big kiss. The twins ran round with their wind instruments making the baby laugh with deep throaty chuckles.
The doorbell rang and Claire's parents came in with bags and parcels.

'Here we are, special delivery. My Thai curry and a Pavlova made with dad's bumper crop of raspberries.'

Claire's mother took the twins and the baby off to get ready for bed. Emma sat close to Flora, cuddling her doll.

'You look like a princess.'

Flora looked across at Matt and caught her breath when she saw the expression in his eyes. She felt quite weak and smiled back.
When the children were all asleep and Claire's parents had left Jack opened some wine and they all sat round the fire.  Matt and Jack challenged each other to a game of chess that Claire's Brother had given them for Christmas.  Flora  brought out a box of chocolates with rum that she'd brought from the Caribbbean.

'You've got a lovely family Claire.  It looks like a lot of hard work though, I do admire you. I haven't really got any qualifications just one A level and my secretarial course. What did you you do before having the children''

Claire poured them a both some more coffee.

'I'm an interior designer and  I've got a Website which makes it possible to work from home and decide how much time I want to spend working.. At the moment I'm helping with Play groups and support groups for mothers in the local area as well. Time for the little ones is so precious. They grow up too quickly and I don't want to miss out.'

' I suppose it's the challenge for modern women bringing up children and having some sort of career at the same time. Being with your children today has made me think that I'd like to do train as a nursery teacher. I think  I'll look into it. Could I have a look at your website ?'

By the end of the evening Flora felt that she had made a real friend in Claire. She'd never been very good at making friends. She'd always had a constant stream of boyfriends and lots of male attention and to sit and talk so easily to another woman was a new experience for her,  she was surprised at what a great time she was having.

As they were leaving to go back to London Flora gave Claire a big affectionate hug.

' Thank you Claire. It's been wonderful staying with you and getting to know your family. '

Emma put her arms round Flora and the twins played their drums.

Claire hugged Flora.

'We've loved having you Flora. Come again soon. It's been lovely being with you. Let me know how you get on with the Nursery course.'

Jack slapped Matt on the back and gave him a man hug.

'Great to see you mate come again soon. I might bring Claire up to a show or something for Valentine's day. We could meet up.'

On the drive back Matt was quiet. Flora looked across at him. He spoke in a low whisper and she had to strain to catch his words.

'Jack said that one of the solicitors in his office is retiring and they'll be looking to replace him. What do you think if we move down here ?'

Hearing the word we made a sharp electric thrill run down Flora's spine. She breathed in deeply.

'Is that some sort of proposal Matt.?'

 Matt drove into a lay-by, turned off the engine and took her in his arms. He kissed her full on the mouth and she could feel their hearts beating beneath their think Winter jackets. When they came up for air, she looked up to see his face aglow with love and passion.

'Oh Matt, I don't mind where I am as long as we're together.'




















Saturday 10 January 2015

Stories from the Cedar cafè, Jackie 2

This is the second of my stories from the Cedar Cafè. the first is about Margo and Angus.


The Cedar cafè had put in a special ramp for easy access.  Jackie deftly opened the door and manoeuvred her mother's wheelchair into the cafè. The warmth, the rich aroma of the Italian espresso and the subdued chatter of the customers filled her with a sense of well-being. She felt herself relax. She realized her mother was saying something and bent down to her level.

'I'm so glad we've found this cafè  Jackie, it's so easy to get in and I like to see the schoolchildren don't you?'

' The coffee's nice too. Shall we share a Danish pastry ?'

'Oh yes lovely, my treat today.'

 Jackie settled her mother at one of the round tables and went to place their order. As she stood waiting for her turn she looked across at her mother, her freshly set hair gleaming as a ray of sunshine found its way across to her like a searchlight looking for a star.  Jackie's heart contracted with a feeling of intense tenderness.  It had taken her mother some time to accept the wheelchair but now they were able to get out and about all over the place. Every Friday Jackie took her mother to have her hair done at the 'New wave' salon and then  took her out for coffee.

When  Jackie had left the house this morning she had felt like a dark cloud was hanging over her head and a knife was constantly ripping open her heart.
 When she'd discovered the restaurant bill in Mike's car and the sunglasses in the side pocket she had felt so desperate, it was her worst nightmare.  She had gone about in a daze,  feeling that her life had been torn to shreds. She had thought that if she didn't confront him then it wouldn't be true.  Jackie had a few close friends that she could confide in but felt that once they knew then their relationship might change. They'd feel sorry for her or might tell her she should leave Mike or other well-meant advice.. Her mother seemed so frail now that it didn't seem fair to burden her.  Jackie felt as though she was fighting against sadness and she would never stop feeling sad ever again and there was an endless hole of pain inside her.  It was while pushing her mother along from the hairdressers to the Cedar cafè that her mother had spoken.

'Jackie dear, is something worrying you? ' She spoke in such a calm and reassuring way .
Jackie was so surprised she  stopped pushing and walked round to face her mother.

'Oh mum is it that obvious?  It's Mike. I'm so scared that he's got someone else.'

'Well let's go and have our coffee and you can tell me all about it.'

For the first time a thin veil of hope wound its way round  Jackie's heart.  The way her mother had spoken made her feel a bit more normal again.  She realized that she had been in danger of breaking down under the weight of the pain of Mike's betrayal.

It had somehow been easier than she would have imagined to walk along talking to the back of her mother's head. The words came rushing out to describe how she felt and how alone and scared she was. She knew her mother was listening intently and it made her able to articulate her thoughts and fears in a way that meant some sort of solution was forming itself inside her.



 Jackie took the coffees and the pastry to the table. Her mother's face lit up at the sight of the large cup of frothy cappuccino.  Jackie cut the pastry into bite sized pieces so her mother could pick them up easily.

'  Have you had a good week at work? It's exam time soon isn't it?'

 Jackie taught Geography at the local school and her mother loved hearing all Jackie's anecdotes about the children.

'Yes it is, exams next week and then it won't be long till the holidays.  Do you remember the  new boy I told you about, the one from  Australia? His elder brother's in a band that's just signed a deal with a record company. It's boosted his popularity no end and he's going to arrange for the class to go to a gig. It's just what he needed. I still get such a thrill at seeing children blossom and overcome their challenges.

'Oh how wonderful  Jackie. What's the band called''

 Jackie smiled. 'It's a funny name, something like Waft.'

Her mother looked at her over the top of her coffee cup.

'They were on the television the other day, sounded very catchy.'

Jackie loved the way her mother kept up with things. She had such a great love for other people and always showed such interest.


Jackie's  mother took a careful sip of her cappuccino and then popped another piece of pastry in her mouth.  Jackie held her mother's hand letting the warmth flow through her arm and give her strength.  The loving care  and concern in her mother's voice made her want to cry.

Just going through the motions of taking her mother for a coffee and having a gentle conversation was filling her with a sense of hope.  Her life seemed to have changed so quickly. In the last year her daughter, Nell had gone to Australia for two years, her mother had become wheelchair bound and Mike had become so distant.   She had been planning to take early retirement and be able to spend more time looking after her mother but now felt totally lost.

 Jackie's mother smiled at her, her eyes twinkled with the good humour and love that had always given  Jackie such comfort.

'You were always a great mum to come home to, when I was growing up. No matter what sort of day I had knowing you were there Mum, was marvellous for me. '

?I'm still here for you. Everything will be alright I know it. Mike's a good man. He loves you and Nell.  Maybe for half-term you could take him away to one of those spa hotels. I saw a lovely one advertised in a magazine at the hairdressers, in Brighton. It would do you both good.'

'That sounds lovely. I could just book it up and  surprise him. But what if he doesn't want to come? '

'One step at a time  Jackie. Have a plan a and a Plan B. Think in your heart what you really want and go for it. If you want Mike back then take him away and thrash it out. however painful it may be ask him to tell you his side. Then if there is no hope you must have an action plan. first you must let your heart heal.  You will have had  a shock and you will feel a great loss.  Whatever you do Jackie don't let bitterness and resentment seep into your heart.'

 Jackie looked at her mother in amazement.

'Gosh mum you sound very experienced in these matters.'

 Jackie's mother smiled at her . 'Your father had an affair when you were sixteen. It broke my heart but then I asked myself what I could have done to prevent it and the answer is very little. I now think that if someone is faithful or unfaithful it's because of the way they are as a person not because of their partner's failings. Someone can get it all right and still be let down.
Most of the couples I know have gone through some sort of crisis and I've come to the conclusion that there are three reasons why someone isn't unfaithful. It's obvious why they are really,  It's  why they're not that we need to understand. Well I think it's lack of opportunity, or laziness or fear of losing your partner that keep people from being unfaithful. In your father's case he had to go away a lot on business with his secretary. I suppose eating together in restaurants and sharing so much time together... but in the end he chose me, and you dear Jackie.'

 Jackie thought of how much her father seemed to love her mother, he was totally devoted to her and since his retirement was  always looking for ways to make her happy.

'Perhaps it's a matter of riding the storm'  Jackie looked at her mother.
'Let's have another cappuccino Mum. your mouth must be dry after that long speech. Thank you so much. I feel so much better.'

When  Jackie came back with their drinks she noticed a slightly built  pretty woman , about the same age as her, sitting at the table next to theirs. She was wearing a woollen hat and a trench coat and hunched up looked like a spy. A handsome man was sitting near her and Flora watched him lean over and whisper in her ear and then they were kissing quite passionately for the Cedar Cafè. 

'Just one thing though Mum what if he does choose her?'

'I'll be here for you  Jackie.'

Jackie  laid her head gently on her mother's shoulder like she did when she was a little girl.

As she stood in the queue waiting to pay, Jackie looked around at the warm cosy cafè. It seemed like a refuge, a place to share burdens and joys and then leave them there and go on your way somehow stronger. She looked at the schoolgirls on the sofa, laughing  at their own private world. They were poised on the edge of adulthood and probably had no idea how precious their time of life could be. There was a couple of women talking in hushed tones and one of them looked very sad. There was the middle-aged couple locked in a passionate embrace. Over by the window there were elderly women on their own, holding on to their coffee cups as though to gather the warmth into their hearts. There were some business men busy on their laptops and a young man scribbling away in a notebook.

Jackie looked across at her mother again. She looked so beautiful and Jackie's heart swelled with gratitude and love. She still had a black cloud over her head, she still felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach and was trying to tear out her heart, but thanks to her mother's calm and comforting talk she knew the door that could have let in resentment and hurtful recriminations had  been firmly closed.













Thursday 8 January 2015

Stories from the Cedar café, Margo 1

The Cedar cafè was full and humming with the sounds of quiet conversation. A few business men were sitting in the Free WiFi area and a group of schoolgirls were squashed together on the large brown leather sofa near the window. Margo walked towards the counter with her collar turned up and her hands deep in her pockets. She had pulled her fair curly hair into a tight knot and covered it with a blue woollen hat. She had put on her old black glasses instead of using her contact lenses.  She felt a bit like a spy or a secret agent, but she was just following the advice from her Creative Writing course.  She realized that the young girl at the counter was waiting for her to order.

'A very large hot cappuccino, with cinnamon and a Danish snail pastry please.'

Margo had never been to the Cedar Cafè before, it was on the other side of town. No-one would recognize her here, it seemed perfect. She took her coffee and pastry to the only free table. It was tucked in a corner and she sat with her back to the other customers, took out her notebook and pen and sunk as far as she could into her woollen jacket, shoulders hunched.

According to her Creative writing course she should jot down pieces of conversations overheard in cafès or bars, waiting rooms or wherever. Yesterday at the doctors' she'd listened to a long boring conversation about a New Year diet and an old lady complaining about her big toe. No Blockbuster novel material there as far as she could see.

Yesterday evening she'd told Angus. He had looked at her in astonishment.

'It sounds really nosy Margo. Eavesdroppers never hear any good about themselves and all that. I wouldn't like anyone to listen to my conversations. Didn't they give you any other ideas?'

'Well I'll go to a cafè on the other side of town where no-one knows me.  I've tried all the other ideas, they said to turn on the radio and  I did that too and listened to a programme about Japanese grasses attacking the hedgerows of Britain. Maybe this isn't the right course for me either.'

Angus laughed,  then he spoke to her in the low deep voice that he kept just for her, his thick Scottish accent rolling around the words like caresses.

' Why don't you teach a course instead' Something like 'A thousand ways to keep your man happy, by Margo Malarky? You 're an expert.''

Margo put her arms round his neck and ran her fingers through his thick curly dark hair.

'Oh Angus, as long as I keep you happy, that's all that matters.'

They'd gone to bed then and  Angus was gone when she awoke. He was working so hard. He always had done, all through their marriage but lately she felt like she hardly saw him all week then at the weekends he was worn out.

Margo sighed and opened the notebook.  If she didn't get any ideas here at least she would have had a nice break. She spooned off some of the creamy froth on top of her cappuccino and then took a bite of the Danish pastry. She listened to the schoolgirls on the sofa. They were huddled together and all staring at their screens.

'Oh no look, he's put on a photo with her. Do you think they're together? She's got her hand on his arm.'

'She does that with everyone, I don't think it means anything. Look at this photo of Briony, do you think it's a selfie? She looks a bit photo- shopped to me. Her hair isn't that blond.'

'Oh look at these shoes, aren't they cool? 10.99 in the sale, a bargain.'

'Shall I send out the invites to my party on Fb or  What's app?

'Do it on what's app or create a group so only who you choose can see it. You have to be careful. Did you read about the couple who came back from holiday and found their house wrecked''

Margo took a gulp of her cappuccino. She couldn't see what the girls were looking at, but apart from talking about facebook and What's app their conversation didn't sound much different to the ones she used to have with her own schoolfriends. It seemed a long time ago. She'd had time to bring up a family since then and now here they were on their own again, Angus and Margo, at home, on their own. Their son Charlie was up at Aberdeen studying Engineering. He'd wanted to be near his grandparents and get in touch with his Scottish roots.  Their daughter Fiona was a nurse in London and by her account practically running the hospital single handedly.  It was  Margo's fiftieth birthday next week and  yesterday her sister-in-law, Judith  had rung to see if she was organizing anything.

'Margo I'm sorry to have to ask you but you know how busy we are. I keep putting off accepting invitations for that day in case you have a party. The Anderson's are having a house warming and the new Rowing club is opening. Then the Tennis club ball is the next day and the Book club annual dinner the day after.'

Margo had sat down on the kitchen chair and looked at a robin hopping about on the terrace.


'I'll let you know in good time if we do anything. I'm sorry to keep you hanging on, maybe on the day Angus and I will stay at home and then in a few weeks time I'll arrange a family party. thank you for keeping the date free. I''ll talk to Angus and get back to you this evening. Come by for coffee whenever you like, Judith. I'd love to catch up on your news.'


Her sister-in-law's phone calls always made her feel sad and empty. She wished they didn't. For as long as she could remember Judith had had this effect on her and she couldn't understand it. She loved her elder brother Steve and they'd always got on so well. She'd tried to warm to Judith but so often felt pushed away and felt that Judith  didn't really like her.

Angus was always dismissive but reassuring.

' How could anyone not like you, she must need her head testing, it's her bad luck if she can't see  how lovely you are.'

Steve was also reassuring, 'You're the best sister anyone could have, funny, warm and kind.'

She had never dared ask Judith in case the answer was no.

There was a scraping of chairs at the table behind her and a clatter of cups and a lot of sighing.

'Do you think I should have bought the larger size? It didn't look too tight did it?

'We can go and change it if you're not sure but I think you looked sexy like that.'

'Are you sure? I'm scared of looking like mutton dressed as lamb'

'You looked more like a lioness ready for the hunt to me.'

There was giggling then silence as cups were picked up.

'Phil's started drinking again.'

There was a long pause.

'Are you sure? I thought he was going to AA.'

'He stopped.  A man from work started going and he said he felt embarrassed. Since the twins have left for university the house seems so empty. We've never had many friends because of the drinking problem. People seem scared of us as though it's catching. I don't know what I'd do without a sister. You're my saviour.'

'Oh poor Phil.  But actions speak louder than words. Go on lioness you can do it. Get your claws out and convince him to go back to the AA.  If  you like I'll ask  John to pick him up.  He can take  Phil to the meeting and then maybe join in and bring him home again.'

'Oh would you please ? That might just be what he needs. Thank you so much, I don't know what I'd do without you.'

Margo felt tears come to her eyes.  This all seemed too personal to write in her notebook.
 There was the sound of chairs scraping again. Two people came and sat at the table right next to Margo, she couldn't help overhearing their conversation whether she wanted to or not.

' It must be all my fault. What shall I do now?'

'It's not your fault at all. these things happen. Men like Mike, handsome doctors working as  cosmetic surgeons,  have so many temptations around them all the time.  It's not your fault at all.'

'Do you think he loves her? I really want him back, I still love him.'

'Ask him. Get the question out of the way. If he says yes I'll be here for you. If he says no, then it was just a mid-life crisis and you'll have to forgive and forget if you want to make a go of it, and I'll still be here.'

'I don't know what I'd do without you.'

There was a sob.

'There there, where there's life there's hope. I nearly left your father once you know, when you were about fifteen. He said I never listened to him anymore. It wasn't true but I was so wrapped up in looking after Grandma.'

There was a silence and then what Margo liked to think was a big comforting hug.


Margo drank the last of her cappuccino and picked up the remaining crumbs from her pastry with her finger.
 She felt drained. How did women get from being the young girls on the sofa to being so sort of let down and in difficulty.  Her fiftieth birthday loomed ahead. Everything seemed to happen at once in a woman's life. Your children left home and you got empty nest syndrome,  your parents grew old and needed you and  then your husband went through a mid-life crisis when his ego  needed constant attention.
 Just in one corner of a small cafè in a town in the West of England and in one hour she had heard enough to be able to write  her assignment for the Creative writing course, if she wanted to.
 She didn't want to though. She felt that they weren't her stories to tell.   One thing that shone through the conversations that she had listened to was how much comfort and strength we get from our friends, mothers and sisters, maybe she could write about that.

Someone sat down at the table behind her. Margo gathered up her notebook and pen ready to leave. She was about to stand up when the newcomer spoke.

'What a very attractive woman sitting at the table next to me. I wonder if she would like to come and spend a week in a Croft up on the coast of Scotland  all on her own with me?  I promise I will ravage  her. There will be a roaring log fire and a jacuzzi, champagne and wonderful walks and views.'

The sound of her husband's rich warm voice filled her with a joy and delight that rose up through her, warming her, filling her, overflowing, pressing on her so she could hardly breathe.

'Oh Angus, how did you know I was here? '

She leapt at him and flung herself onto him, burying her head in his thick overcoat and breathing in the warm male smell.

' Your car's parked outside. You wouldn't make a very good spy. Shall I take that as a yes?'

She pressed her lips on his and revelled in the familiar yet always new sensations that being near him gave her.

'Oh yes, yes please I'm beginning to think that being fifty might not be so bad after all.'

The schoolgirls were at the till waiting to pay. As Margo and Angus arrived the girls turned to look at them. In their eyes Margo saw a sort of admiration and what looked to her like hope.







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